This blog is about creating a dialogue about domestic violence and the impact it has on our community. A community is not just a neighborhood or a city; it is a group of people having a special set of common characteristics. It is my hope to stop domestic violence one person, one family at a time. With the statistics below, someone may find themselves in one of the many categories of domestic violence, either physically or emotionally. Maybe someone recognizes the statistics below and can identify with. In the US, many agencies provide shelter and aftercare for victims of domestic violence. Many states even offer scholarships giving upwards of $2000 per semester.

Michael a young man working at a Fortune 500 company as a Business Analyst, had been employed for over eight years. With objections from his parents and friends, he married last year. Soon after the marriage, he began coming to work looking tired, sad, and fragile. Michael’s work ethics began deteriorating because he was starting to spend more time on personal calls, so much so the manager sent him down to Human Resources for compliance training. The commitment did not last long, he would just leave his desk for 10-15 minutes at a time, eventually management got wind of it, he was told he have been given warnings but had to enforce company policy and suspend him for a week without pay and once he returned if it continued, he would be terminated. In the conference room, Michael began whaling like a child, apologizing that it would not happen again but he could not afford the time off, his wife would leave him. Brenda the unsympathetic HR warriors said she had to follow protocol.

Wednesday of the following week, his co-workers were called into a non-scheduled meeting. In the room were managers from other areas including staff from Employee Assistance Program. Jeff the EAP office began the meeting with the various offerings for its employees, which included substance abuse, and mental health checkups while expressing these services were free of charge. Then he turned the microphone over to Ann, she began with Michael Dunlap was a great worker but Michael will not be with us any longer as he committed suicide last evening. After the announcement, the meeting was adjourned the employees were allowed to stay in the room to absorb the information and speak to counselors if needed.

Chatter began in the room in remembrance of Michael’s work ethics and non-participation in company activities. One young woman stated she had teased him about the scratches on his neck, she said he shrugged her off with the cat excuse. Another said she overheard a few of his conversations where he was pleading with his wife to stop yelling at him, also telling his wife he was not having an affair and she was the only one he loved. Before long, several of his coworkers had a story about the decline in Michael Dunlap. One of the employees contacted the police to tell them some of the stories not believing Michael would have committed suicide. Through the police investigation they also learned the wife left the home the day after he was suspended, the wife was the dominant force in the relationship, she had lied twice about being pregnant, she would beat on him, over spend the household funds causing his credit worthiness to deteriorate. The police also got a call from one of her ex-husbands telling a similar story. Eventually the autopsy report revealed a battered man and charged the wife with involuntary manslaughter.

It is true more women are abused than men are but that could be because more women report the abuse than men do. Below is a synopsis of emotional abuse endured by a man.

According to the Domestic Violence Statistics website, every nine seconds a woman is assaulted or beaten.

  • Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  • Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Husbands or boyfriends in the most violent cases murder at least three out of ten women.
  • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

Abuse can occur to anyone of any age and gender and from any occupation. It can take the form of physical, emotional, psychological, sexual abuse, or neglect.

If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.

For anonymous, confidential help, 24/7, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or  1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Line
3300 N.W. 185th Street, Suite 133
Portland, OR 97229
Phone: (503) 203-1444
Toll-free: 1-866-USWOMEN (International Crisis Line)
Organization dedicated to assisting American women living overseas victimized by domestic violence. Outreach, safety planning, extensive support services, general info on domestic violence at website.

Canadian National Clearinghouse on Family Violence
Family Violence Prevention Unit
Public Health Agency of Canada
200 Eglantine Dr.
Ottawa, ON I9O 9D1
Phone: (613) 957-2938
TTY Toll-free: 1-800-561-5643
Toll-free: 1-800-267-1291
The NCFV is a national resource centre for all Canadians seeking information about violence within the family, including spouse/partner abuse, child abuse, and elder abuse.

Institute on Violence, Abuse and Trauma at Alliant International University
10065 Old Grove Rd.
San Diego, CA 92131
Phone: (858) 527-1860 x 4160

Muslim Women’s Help Line
Unit 3, 1st Floor
GEC Estate, East Lane
Glasgow, UK
Phone: 0808 801 0301
Hotline for Muslim women and girls in the U.K. dealing with domestic violence, sexual abuse, and other problems.

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